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February 20, 2009
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I needed to write this off me, it's been some week...
1.My ''friend'' is just fucked up. She can't just be like normal! Like, when in class they ask her to turn off the light, she's like "yeah! got dam it, waiy a fcking sec!" and just hit like that and she's like so dan obsessed by her hair, god forbid when it rains! Than her hair gets wet, oh no! WHO FCKING CARES IF YOUR HAIR GETS FRICKIN WET?! And always talking about HER life, cause our life obviously is NOT important! HER LIFE IS BARELY CALLED A FCKING LIFE! And she just keeeeps following my friend and I, even though we both made it vey clear we don't want to talk to her.
2.It's getting really hard with my friend, Jess, who's so shy and silent. I want to talk to her and ask her for advice, but she's so shy, silent, fragile that I can't. Im trying really hard to get her to losen up a bit, but it's really making me tired. SHe's been my best friend for almost 3 years now, yet nothing seems to change. She...I'm afraid she'll change school cause of the bullies in her class. It means Ill lose my best friend.
3.There's this guy at school, Dennis, who accidently caught my eye. And I'd like to get to know him, but don't dare. Everyone alread told me to say something, anything to him. But somehow, I just don't manage to. My "friend" says he's ugly, while I don't think so. I wish he'd be ugly. Something about him drawed m attention. But I don't know him. And everytime I see him on school, I'm thinking like "Why can't I just walk up to him and say something?". It's just driving me crazy.
I've also cutted again, cause obviosuyl my sister is ashamed to have me as a sister. Cutting just makes me feel better, the red colour makes me feel better. EVen though I thought I stopped. But once you cutted, you'll always cut. it's like drugs.


ps. I'm still writing at least 1 poem a day, or writing on a story I just started. Sorry I haven't posted them on here.
  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: Bring Me The Horizon - Suicide Season
  • Reading: Norah MClintock
  • Watching: Computerscreen
  • Playing: Canon - Pachelbel
  • Eating: icecream
  • Drinking: Water
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:icondeath-metal-anarchy:
1. Punch and or scream at her it always works to an extent.(i tend to hate this kind of person)
2. My friend losened up after dating a guy she liked. (try questioning her or setting her up)
3. Anything will do from a simple hello or to being very forward. (or us the friend approach, one of your friends asks if he would go out with you, it how i got with my current gf and it spares alot of imbarassment)
Cutting is addictive cause of the rush, but i dont cut i yell and i punch holes in the wall and on occasion brake my possesions.
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:iconxxdeathforyouxx:
~xXDeathForYouXx Feb 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I already screamed and punched her before, somehow she came back...Could do it again.
And well, I know what kind of guys my friend likes, but like...she ahsn't told mee she likes a guy...While she normally tells me that.
And mm, I know just saying hello is enough...I'm just afraid or something I guess. And of course it's 1 week off >.<
I'd love to yell and punch holes in stead of cutting, but than my parents would suspect something. I don't trust my parents. They don't know nothing about me. They don't find out I cut.
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:icondeath-metal-anarchy:
then do it again.
do it ina way she wont suspect like truth or dare stuff.
Why be afraid the worst is to be turned down.
Yeah but my dad is usually too druk and thinks he did it and my mam is some what trust worthy but not much.

p.s: tanx for the add.
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:iconxxdeathforyouxx:
~xXDeathForYouXx Feb 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Mm, you're right. She just sticks with my friend and I cuz she's got no one else.
Or to get mocked at once again, being sprad all voer the school, people looking at me like Im an alien.
Oh, I see. Some parents =/

And no problem^^
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:icondeath-metal-anarchy:
So what every thing is forgotten and it will eventually heal.
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:iconxxdeathforyouxx:
~xXDeathForYouXx Feb 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Mm...You know, I just wished I had someone to talk to pver here, in real life. I have one friend I'm starting to talk with more, but I don't trust her enough to tell her everything. WHo knows how she'd think of me when I told ehr I cut..
Reply
:icondeath-metal-anarchy:
i dont know too many who cut but i dont care it's their choice i prefer if they dont but still it's up to them.
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:iconxxdeathforyouxx:
~xXDeathForYouXx Feb 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Hmm yeah. It's not like I want to cut, it's just...my way of expressing and releasing myfeelings when Im really down.
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