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March 16, 2009
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I know I haven't posted anything for a while, and I'm sorry for that. This is the first time in my life it's getting hard to write poems. I've got plenty of thoughts, yet can't organise them. I used to feel like this a few years ago, I act happy around my friends, because well....I feel that if I don't talk and smile and act funny, they will get silent, say nothing and...well, you get the picture.
Back at home, or during the lessons, I crash. I start screaming, crying, cutting. I get a huge headache, my thoughts are all messed up...It feels as if there's someone else controlling my life. What the fuck is wrong with me?! I feel like I can break any moment from now, that I might kill myself or someone else. I don't know what's wrong with me. I do know that this isn't normal. I'm shivering, I just cutted myself, I feel like throwing up, I don't want to do anything at all.....What the hell is happening to me?!
  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: Bring Me The Horizon - The Sadness Will Never End
  • Reading: Nothing.
  • Watching: Nothing.
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Eating: Nothing.
  • Drinking: Nothing.
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:iconratta19:
Hmm, you should stick to paper cuts, those aren't as bad. But you can talk to me too dudette. I (even though I suck at writing) just write ramblings, and take out what I like, I guess you can organize that way, and it should force your creative juices out, metaphorical juices of course.
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:iconmasterthymos:
~MasterThymos Mar 17, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Try and get a hold of me during the weekends and I'll try and help with everything. It usually helps to talk about this kind of thing with somebody. I know how you feel with the writing, too. I'm in a rut as well >,,< I hate it. Just hang in there and things will get better eventually. Also, don't cut near any major arteries! I don't wanna lose a great friend.
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:icon12hope24:
Nothing is wrong with you! What you wrote about sounds a great deal like what I had went through. I know it might not seem like this right now, but as long as you talk to someone it will eventually get better and I'm sure you'll get back into the swing of writing. I've felt like I should hide my feelings from my friends, but I feel like I did it because I knew they wouldn't understand because they were never placed in my situation. But I found other ways of expression, I figured out how to let feelings go before I lost the real me.
I'm Kris, don't hesitate to message me. I hope you feel better and I hope you realize you are not alone. :heart:
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:iconxxdeathforyouxx:
~xXDeathForYouXx Mar 16, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks. I'm afraid my friends won't understand me either...But I feel guilty, because my best friends don't know anything about me. I only dare to talk to my best friends I don't know IRL, or people who have been trough the same thing(not IRL). I normally use my literature to write out all my emotions. But now it won't work.
Well, thanks for the comm. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.
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:icon12hope24:
Yeah .. I feel like that still, some of my best friends don't really understand what I've really been feeling or still feel. Same here; otherwise, keep trying to write, it will work and come back. I've read some of your stuff and it's all excellent; it will be back.
No problem for the comment
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